5 Things That Happen When We Allow Rape Culture to Become a Norm

Rape culture is disgusting, tasteless and inhumane. It has no place in society, regardless of which part of the world we are in. If animals need the approval of a consenting partner to have sex, why can’t humans pay each other the same respect? What is it that is so threatening about another human that we feel the need to forcefully violate their self-worth and self-respect when they say “no”? Why must another individual suffer the wrath of your sexual violence just because you are unable to control your selfish, lustful desires? Rape culture is slowly degrading society, and if you disagree, go fuck yourself with a cactus. When we allow rape culture to happen, it paves the way for further degradation of society.

1)     Rape culture allows for the idolization of sex

Idolization of sex is not okay. It is already bad enough that the porn industry is booming, and that we can’t look left and right without people trying to sell sex. No, this is not my typical Asian mentality speaking, it is nothing but truth and fact. Why has sex become a “need” to survive? Why must girls get on their hands and knees to satisfy their boyfriend’s “needs”? Why must girls feel like it is okay for them to push their own discomfort aside to provide pleasure to their boyfriends? So that their boyfriends don’t dump them? Girls, if your boyfriend does not respect your self-worth and threatens to break up with you if you do not comply with his orders, dump him faster than you would a hot potato. Girls deserve the same amount of respect boys pay each other. Sex is not a need. It is a manifestation of lust, lack of control and respect for another human being. Sex should be between two consenting individuals who love each other, whether or not it is bonded in marriage. If you want to have sex before marriage, I have no reason to stop you, but be sure that it is what you want.

2)     Rape culture allows for objectification of women

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people, both men and women alike, criticizing another person for not dressing modestly. Sure, I am in favour of modest attire too, but people have to realize that women are not objects made to satisfy the lustful desires of men, and even if a woman is not dressed modestly, it does not give men the reason to project their sexual desires onto them. Men should be able to control themselves. Remember that the only thing that separates man from animal is the ability to use intellect and rationalization. If a man decides to shove all logical reasoning aside for 5 minutes of pleasure, then that is not a man. That is an animal.

3)     Rape culture allows for further gender inequality

I cannot stress this enough. As if there isn’t enough gender equality already today! Being in the field of social sciences, I have learnt all sorts of feminist theories addressing the inequalities between majority and minority groups, particularly women. We now live in a world where feminism is the most dreaded “f” word in the English dictionary. I do not see why men should be so bothered by the feminist ideology, because all humans are created equal, and men should rally for the rights of women alongside women. Something that bothers me a lot is the aftermath of Emma Watson’s He For She campaign, when men started being offended by the idea of gender equality and threatened to leak her nudes. If that is not immature, I don’t know what is.

4)     Rape culture allows for women to think subservience is okay

When rape happens, people are terrified to report it because of the stigma that rape is a woman’s fault. “If she dressed more modestly, she would not have been raped” is the most disgusting phrase I have ever heard from people, regardless of gender. Even if a woman was walking down a dimly lit street dressed in a full-bodied burqa, she still faces the risk of being raped simply because she is a woman. Rape cases that go unreported gives other women reason to believe that rape is a result of their undoing, and gives men proof that they win, that they own us, that we are seen as pieces of meat to them. Subservience to elders and respectable people (including men) is okay, but only to a certain extent. If your dignity and self-worth is a trade-off in return for your subservience, then you’re doing it wrong.

5)     Rape culture allows children to believe that rape is okay

RAPE IS NEVER OKAY. TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IS NOT OKAY. ACCOSTING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IS NOT OKAY. SEXUALIZING WOMEN IS NOT OKAY. None of it is okay, and if we allow rape culture to happen, we are setting an example for the younger generation.

IF THE MEDIA KEEPS PORTRAYING THE SEXUALIZATION OF WOMEN AND PROMOTING RAPE CULTURE, CHILDREN ARE GOING TO LEARN THAT RAPE IS OKAY.

(words in upper case letters because I am yelling this in my head as I type)

Children learn through social learning. Bandura said it himself, that children learn by example and observation, whether or not they see it being done right in front of their eyes or through the television screen. Whatever it is, CHILDREN LEARN. Never, ever give children reason to believe that rape culture is okay. It never is.

This post took me ages to write, simply because I am passionate about this issue and I don’t want to go wrong with this post. I hope this gives awareness to other men and women to stand up for gender equality, because this is the responsibility of both men and women. There is enough unrest in this world, don’t add gender inequality to the already long list of unsolvable problems.

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Author: Natalie Ha

I remember being enthralled with the written word ever since my parents started reading fairytales to me at a young age. Seeing the power it has to influence behaviours and mindsets, I have learned, over the years, to translate my thoughts onto paper, in an attempt to positively disrupt the lives of others. Having my written works published in various forms of media has empowered me to weave stories that people can resonate with. I look forward to the life-long process of perfecting this craft, and hope to see my work touch the hearts of many in the future. This blog attempts to do just that - and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy penning it down.

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