How soon is “too soon”?


Our need for validation from fellow members of society has led us to believe in ourselves way less than we should. We allow others to dictate what is “normal” or “acceptable” by society’s own standards. This has been in practice even prior to the emergence of social science as a branch of study, which is why I am in no place to condemn the institution of society and its elements. What I cannot tolerate is when these standards encroach into one’s personal space and life, giving him or her no liberty to do, well, anything.

Recently, I went through a break up which I chronicled here, in which I talked about how it ended for me even way before I called the whole relationship off. In some weird twist of fate, I met someone else right after it all happened. It was never my intention to start anything new or find someone else, but it just happened.

We met through mutual friends. We knew each other even back in the day, when we were both in secondary school. For some reason, we never spoke. It’s probably better this way– I don’t like the person I was 6 years ago, and I don’t think he would have either. But I digress.

During our first encounter, he made me laugh. He was approachable and friendly, and I found it very easy to talk to him. The next day, we met again (with mutual friends) over coffee, and the conversations continued.

After the first few conversations we had, I felt myself developing feelings for him, feelings I couldn’t comprehend and had never felt for a long long time. After my friends left for their studies, we went out anyway, seeing each other nearly every day since. What attracted me most to him was his heart. He has one of the kindest hearts I know, who is always looking for a greater purpose in life. He is a thinker, just like I am. We share the same opinions, beliefs and values. Yet, we are completely different. I am fiercely introverted, he is outgoing and loves the outdoors.

In just a matter of weeks, I think I have fallen in love with him. What irks me is when people tell me it is “too soon”. For the first time in a long time, I can be myself around someone I like– I don’t have to dumb myself down, I can say the things I think about without being labelled “too free” or “overthinking it”, because chances are, he is thinking of it too. With him, I am challenged to better myself in the best possible way, which is something I have always wanted. Yet, people can’t seem to understand this. What people obsess over, instead, is how “soon” it has been between my last relationship and current one.

Through it all, I know I have found a keeper. He accepts me for who I am, demons and all. Every day, I count my lucky stars that I have been blessed with his presence in my life, regardless of what people say. Ultimately, it is what I feel, and I can’t deny that what I feel is real.

And today, I am the happiest person alive.

Author: Natalie Ha

I remember being enthralled with the written word ever since my parents started reading fairytales to me at a young age. Seeing the power it has to influence behaviours and mindsets, I have learned, over the years, to translate my thoughts onto paper, in an attempt to positively disrupt the lives of others. Having my written works published in various forms of media has empowered me to weave stories that people can resonate with. I look forward to the life-long process of perfecting this craft, and hope to see my work touch the hearts of many in the future. This blog attempts to do just that - and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy penning it down.

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