For you

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Dearest Nicky,

Today, there is a little over a week ’til we celebrate our third monthversary. It cringes me to even write that word– but with you, every celebration of success or milestone heralds great joy to me.

Three months into the day I met you, and I find myself still as enthralled with you as I was the very first time we met. Every conversation we have sends me into a flurry of emotions that I’ve never had with anyone before. You never fail to make me laugh, to make me feel better about all the worries that burden me, and to teach me the little pleasures in life; be it appreciating the small things or simply just basking in your presence.

I have never appreciated the physical presence of another person as much as I appreciate yours because I know that whatever time I have with you is scarce, and therefore, precious. Yet, I know that even when we fall back into our usual long-distance routine, I will not drift too far apart from you. Maybe that’s one good thing about being in a long-distance relationship; we build intimacy without having to be physically present.

You blew me away with the meticulous care and attention you paid me when I was sick in Ipoh. Your selflessness shows me just how much compassion you can have, and I find that genuinely admirable. The little things you did– sub-consciously pulling me closer for a hug while we were asleep, or waking me up to remind me to take a shower, lest I fell sicker– or the big things, like driving to get me medicine at midnight; all prove to me that there is no one else in this world with a heart like yours.

When you call me “babe” or “baby”, my heart pounds with anticipation. Prior to this, any variant of these nicknames would agitate me, but in some weird twist of fate, I found someone who makes me feel happy to hear it from. It puzzles me, really.

It’s strange and a little scary how much I believe it when you say “I love you”. I told you once that my walls are always up when I meet someone new, but with you, I broke them all down. I never thought I would cry over another person too– I have always prided myself in being emotionally resilient. It scares me because I don’t know where the future will take us; but if it does take us to an undesired destination, I know it will take me a long time to recover.

As each day passes, I find myself falling deeper in love with you. You are truly my best friend, my confidante, and most of all, my partner. Neither one of us are above the other, and that is what I appreciate most about this relationship– that it is an egalitarian one, and that shows me that we can depend on each other without the feeling of superiority or inferiority.

When I look back at all the past relationships I’ve been in, I thank my lucky stars that they all failed; because I wouldn’t have been able to truly love you and appreciate the love you give me if my past turned out any differently. The kindest thing about you is your acceptance of me– flaws and all.

I look forward to seeing you again; and making all our plans a reality. Truth be told, it doesn’t matter what we spend time doing; every hour spent with you is an hour well-spent.

I am truly grateful to have you in my life, and I say this in full confidence– I love you very much and I can’t wait to see you again soon.

 

Love,

Natalie

 

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Author: Natalie Ha

I remember being enthralled with the written word ever since my parents started reading fairytales to me at a young age. Seeing the power it has to influence behaviours and mindsets, I have learned, over the years, to translate my thoughts onto paper, in an attempt to positively disrupt the lives of others. Having my written works published in various forms of media has empowered me to weave stories that people can resonate with. I look forward to the life-long process of perfecting this craft, and hope to see my work touch the hearts of many in the future. This blog attempts to do just that - and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy penning it down.

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