The most bitter pill for me to swallow as a woman in my 20s is that the friends you grew up with are not necessarily the ones you will grow with; that at some point in your life, you will lose even the closest of friends.
I used to pride myself in having a close-knit group of friends from school whom I could brand as the sisters I never had. We were there for each other in times of joy and sorrow, love and heartache. However, all that changed when I was in my 20s, and I evolved into the person I am today. It was a painful realization– knowing that not all friends grow in the same pace and way you do, and that sometimes, the people we become are different from the ones they have become. And most of the time, no matter how hard you try to work towards bridging those differences, it just isn’t the same anymore.
What used to bond us like glue suddenly becomes superficial, and we find ourselves just reminiscing on old times when we are together. There is nothing new to talk about, because it is just so difficult to understand each other now. Our conversations are reduced to small talk, and there just isn’t any substance in the conversations.
I dwelled on this situation for a long time, wondering if there was anything I could do to repair the situation; but as time passed and conversations went by, I found that it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with these friendships, and I am sure that it was a mutual feeling. As much as it was a struggle for me to grapple with this harsh reality in the beginning, I realize now that sometimes, these things happen without reason or rhyme.
The one takeaway I have from all of this is that life is not static, and therefore, our relationships shouldn’t be as well. It is only natural for us to evolve and change, and not all of these changes can be readily accepted by others in the way we hope. If we give in to the fact that things should always remain the same, then there will be no room for self-improvement.
That’s life, isn’t it? We win friends, we lose friends. Ultimately, as long as you stay true to yourself and do not falter, you will find friends who will readily accept who you are, and who you choose to be. There will always be friends who cannot grow with you, but that is all right– remember the other friends who can, and be yourself.