We’re nearing the end of the year and so much has happened in the past nine months.
People talk about adulthood like it’s all just paying bills, moving away from home, going to work, and thinking about investments. But for me, it’s more than that.
I believe that real adulthood comes when you’re faced with loss. I’m fortunate enough to be 25 years old, with all four of my grandparents alive and well. The closest death I’ve had to deal with is a younger brother who only lived to be 40 days old, and even then, I was too young to understand the concept of death.
I’ve come to learn that the older you become, the more attached you’ll be to your loved ones simply because you spend more time caring for them. While I’ve always been excited about the prospect of adulthood, the fear of losing my loved ones has never really left me.
This is Part One of my story.
Full admission: Earlier this year, I turned down a pretty good job offer. I was to be based in Kuching with a 20% pay raise and the promise of rapid career progression. The only reason why I thought to consider that offer was because of one reason, and one reason only: I was afraid of not being physically present should anything happen to my family.
On the week I turned it down, my dad was admitted into the hospital. He had to undergo a procedure, and everything felt like it was a sign that I had made a big mistake – even the organisation that I turned down was facing my dad’s hospital room.
It also didn’t help that my dad wouldn’t have gone to the hospital if I hadn’t been home that week to cast my vote at the 14th General Election (I guess you could say that GE14 saved his life). Had I not forced him to go to the hospital to get himself checked, the repercussions would have been very serious.
Fortunately, I was there for him throughout, and on the day I was due to fly back to KL, he was discharged.
The emotional roller coaster did not end there; in fact, it persisted for a few months every time we saw his blood tests. The fear of cancer still looms over my head today, but I rest at night knowing that things could be far worse.
Part One of this story ends with the fear of loss, and having the inevitable delayed for a couple of years (and hopefully, more). For that, I am blessed.
Daydream Believer 