The Illusion of Choice

They say that love is more than just the butterflies in your stomach and the dizziness that you get when he says “I love you.”

Because one day, everything will inevitably fade away. Before you know it, his little quirks become annoying; his bad habits frustrating. Then you ask yourself, “Is this really love? I can do so much better than this.”

But you can’t. You can’t do any better than this for one simple reason: because these thoughts come from the worst of you.

It’s easy to forget the times he spent caring for you when you were sick, and the every day sacrifices he makes so that you get a few minutes’ extra sleep.

Instead, you’re tempted by the “what if’s”, the illusion that somewhere out there, someone is able to provide a constant stream of ecstasy just by being a part of your life.

I guess that’s where Hollywood movies and romance novels fail us – The Notebook and the likes have all given us mirages of what true love is really like, and should be.

But in reality, true love is not one grand gesture – it’s a million tiny gestures that come from the heart of this one special, selfless being.

After four years, this is my truth: true love is the man who loves you in silence, at the crack of dawn when he wakes up and discreetly gets ready for work because he doesn’t want to wake you up before your alarm goes off.

True love is waking up every day choosing him, even on days when it’s difficult to do so. Because when you sit in quiet reflection, you realise that there is no other man you want to spend your life with.